Don't Lie, Be True To Your Feelings?

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This image caught my eyes just right after I've opened my facebook. It struck as lightning that I was shocked for few minutes. Don't lie, be true to your feelings? Do I have to? Can I just stay forever on this shell that I've built years ago? I led myself to believe those lies and lived with it without finding my way out. Do I make sense at all? I don't even have the slightest clue anymore what is a lie and what is real now. I am so confused that sleepless nights are here again. What do I do now? What do you think?

So many questions every night, no answers at all. Just one thing though. I have to get the courage somewhere, somehow to face the truth, accept what is real and stop being a liar to myself. I will keep on telling myself, "Don't lie, be true to your feelings". Till finally I listen to me.

Watching TV Is What Keeps Me Up

Watching TV is what keeps me up these days. People who have known the real me would not believe this at all. I don't even believe this myself. But here I am now, presently in front of the television while I write my thoughts. I know this is the right time to write while trying to understand my recent addiction.I have so many problems that I have to deal with since my mom passed away last year. I don't know where to start or how to move on. I feel so alone that watching TV is what keeps me up and makes me sane these days. I am so afraid of pouring my heart to anyone, afraid that they would either judge me or they would not listen at all. So when a Drama movie is on, I cry myself out just to relieve some pressure in my heart. I would also try to watch Comedy films and laugh till I cry. Sane or insane, it's what I do now. Hopefully, I can stop from this addiction and start learning to move on and start to be living my life again. For now, watching TV is what keeps me up till the time I realize what is fiction from reality.